A "Real" Mom

Being the "step-mother" I have heard on many occasions that, "I am not a real mom, I am just a step-mom." because I didn't give birth to them. But then when I do give birth to a baby I am told I am not a "real" mom because my baby died. Well here is a little something of what I have to say about that. A mom is love! Bottom line. Let children know love! Isn't that what life is all about? Knowing love, being loved, loving someone and "Children know that when you act in love, you are acting on their behalf.-Hicks" So remember that when you are labeling people on what a "real" vs "not real" mom is that it comes down to love...

I am a “Real” mom. I have 3 amazing children. Two, of which, I love without giving birth to them but because I chose them. Some may think they aren’t my kids and I am not their mom because of this, but let me tell you something… Never have I once heard a child say, “My mom is the best because she gave birth to me.”

What can you all remember about your own mothers?

I remember the late night talks, the help with homework, comforting me when I am sad or angry. Helping me in any way she can, taking in my friends and loving them as her own, showing me that blood doesn’t make a family, but the heart does. I remember her fighting and standing up for me and others, when injustice has been done. Most of all I remember feeling and knowing her love. I remember her never hiding her love from me, I remember never questioning if she loved me or not. And I remember never having to worry that if I was bad or wrong her love would go away.

Those among other things I will do and will try to do for my children. I help with their homework, go to their schooling events. I know their friends and encourage them to make more. I comfort them when they are sick. I wipe the tears from their eyes; tears that they should NEVER have to cry. I see their hurt and their pain and want to take it away. I love them even though they are not my “blood”. Being “blood or biological” doesn’t automatically mean love, nor does it mean you can’t love. I want to show them what love is and that you can love with all your heart and the more you love the fuller your heart becomes. That you can love and be loved by many people and it is ok. That my love does not come with strings and no matter what they do it will always be there, I will always be there.

My 3rd child is my angel. He didn’t get to live long here on this earth. He is the one I gave birth to but don’t get to raise or hold in my arms. I miss him dearly every day. He is helping me be the best possible mom I can be to his brother and sister. I wish he were here to know his mother’s love. But in all honesty I know he knows my love, he knows my love more than I do. He has a deeper understanding of love than I could ever have. I wish he were here for me... So I could know his love.

I am a “real” mom; although my situation is unique I am a mom to 3 children whom I love dearly. No matter how hard it gets I will shower my children with love in every way I know how. I will show them my unconditional love and what that means. My hope and ultimate wish in this life is that they will grow with love and compassion for others. That they will know how to show and accept love and maybe one day I will hear the words I have longed to hear… “I love you too, Mom!”

My amazing family!